November Update: It's Alright to Cry
There is A LOT going on these days…some of it good, some of it not-so-good. As we enter the month of November, we wanted to remind everyone (and ourselves) that it is alright to cry.
During the summer months, we are exceptionally good at crying. We cry when we are missing home (adults included), we cry when we reach the summit–out of joy and exhaustion and relief, we cry if a horse gets hurt, we cry when we are laughing so hard we can’t breathe, we cry at almost every skit night or talent show because we are just so darn impressed with these kids and we cry when everyone has to leave.
Crying has incredible health and emotional benefits. Science shows us that tears, a uniquely human phenomena, fall into three categories: reflex tears, continuous tears, and emotional tears. The first two are made of 98% water and perform important functions like keeping eyes lubricated or flushing out debris or irritants in the eye. But is is the emotional tears that provide the most health benefits. Beyond flushing out stress hormones and other toxins out of the body, “researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain.”
It is the natural endorphins which are released through a good, hard cry that make us feel better and help us overcome the sense of being overwhelmed or emotionally out-of-balance. It is a “safety release valve” to allow us to move through grief, hard times or these moments of emotional dissonance like we feel on Closing Day: we are so sad to leave, yet so excited to be home and see our family and friends, and still so sad to leave.
These emotional conflicts happen throughout our lives: when we are happy about a child’s acceptance into college while also feeling the impending weight of their absence; when we accept a new, exciting job but know we will have to leave people we really love and respect; when we learn about an illness of a friend and family member and then have more opportunities to appreciate our time with them; basically, we feel many of these conflicting emotions during times of transition and uncertainty…and crying will make you feel better.
My mom was truly excellent at helping me through the early hormonal angst of tweendom and her best strategy was saying, “Just go ahead and cry. Let it all out.” Those big body sobs were raw and probably difficult to sit with as a parent, but I always felt better afterwards. And this is not just for girls. One of the things we appreciate most at camp is the emotional awareness our staff and campers bring to the experience. It is commonplace for someone to say, “Can we just walk and talk for a minute? I think I need to cry.”
Many of us are all holding a lot of stress, angst and worry that is far out of our control right now, which is why it is important that we cry when we need to–and be there for anyone who needs to just “let it all out.” In her monthly newsletter, our alum CARRIE BROWN-WOLF (HT Staff 86,88), reminds us that “the space between October 31st and November 2nd was considered an end and a beginning. A time when the “veil is thinned” and “our departed loved ones and our ancestors are closest to us…a holy time of connection.” She reminds us that, “our ancestors are here to help us find inner light during these darkening days” and we should reflect and celebrate their lives and our lives.
Whether for a summer or for a lifetime, we each touch and impact each other in profound ways. It makes us a little teary to think about how grateful we are for each of you. Happy November!
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