Mental Health Practices For Everyone
When I was in eighth grade, my U.S. Civics teacher, Mr. Brewer, asked the following question one day: “What is the meaning of the word crisis?” I raised my hand immediately, which didn’t always happen in that class. Mr. Brewer walked towards my desk and said, “go ahead Mr. Cook.”
With confidence I replied, “A crisis is a potentially bad situation for which there is no plan…to handle it…the crisis I mean.”
He paused, as if stunned for a moment and then said, “That’s actually better than what I was going to say…impressive, Mr. Cook.” You can see why the moment lodged so firmly in my memory…I didn’t hear teachers say that much throughout my Jr. High or High School career.
Thinking of our current situation as a crisis with that “eighth grade Matty Cook” definition means that all we need to do is make a plan today– right now–and the crisis will be over. Being in crisis is hard and scary. Making a plan today–right now–will allow us to do what Pema Chödrön advisors in her wisdom teachings, “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.”
Making a plan does not mean that we are out of the woods, it simply means that we’re taking steps in that direction. Making a plan during this time of quarantine has to do with looking after our physical, emotional, social, and spiritual health. Setting up a schedule for ourselves and our family will allow us to avoid the Twilight Zone kind of days that make us feel so out of control.
The following ideas are shared to offer some possible steps in your path toward moving from The Quarantine Zone to the here and now. Refusing to be a victim of circumstance by bravely taking the role of Voyager on the “River of Life” means that the crisis is over and you are now putting your oars back in the water. You never controlled the river, you just found Joy in navigating as best you could.
Make your plan, review your plan, and then act on your plan. Remember to make an unflinchingly honest assessment of your circumstances today, tomorrow, and every day. Find Joy where you can, and stay connected to your family and your tribe…THEY NEED YOU. Finally, take care of you. Remember that you are the Hero of your own story. Tell a story that you’ll be proud to share ages and ages hence.
Here are some steps and practices that will help guide your planning and preparation in the days ahead:
Practices to Keep in Mind During Hard Times
Exercise
- Don’t think P90X or the NYC Marathon…unless that’s “your jam” -Take a walk outside for at least 20 minutes…explore
- Stretch your muscles
- Breathe deeply - slow, deliberate breathing signals the rest of your body to relax…do it often.
- Get your heart rate up through movement:
- Play – find a sport you love or make up a game and share it
- Dance – alone or make it a dance party with others in your house
- Walk up and down the stairs while listening to your favorite playlist…or audiobook
- Discover Yoga online
Sleep
- Just like exercise, sleep is crucial to maintaining our physical and mental health.
- Sleep disturbance is common in times of stress and there are ways to address these issues and get back to restful sleep.
- Turn off screens an hour before bedtime.
- Create a bedtime routine that includes activities that relax you and signal that it’s time to be winding down. Do these things every night:
- Self-care like washing hands and face, brushing teeth.
- Settling into sleep mode by turning lights off and taking 3 deep slow breaths can also signal the body that sleepy-time is here.
- Progressive relaxation where you gently flex and relax the muscle groups in the body, one at a time. Starting with the head and neck, down to shoulders and chest, to back and abs, to arms and hands, to buttocks and pelvis, to thighs upper and finally calves and feet. You flex for a count of 5 and then relax for a 20 count and feel the stress melt out of your body and into the bed/floor. As you flex say to yourself, “hold it”. As you release, say to yourself “relax, relax, relax”.
Eating Healthy
- We all know that food is fuel from our trips into the backcountry
- If we are more active we need more fuel…less active = less food
- Planning meals is a great way to keep from grazing and making impulsive and potentially poor choices.
- Looking ahead to make a plan, review the plan, and then follow the plan will help us stay healthy and feeling our best
- Remember to hydrate, (water, water, water) our systems need H2O in order to function at their best.
Maintain and Grow your Support Network
Remember the people, groups, and organizations that have been positive supports for you and your family in the past.
In-Person connections:
- This will be limited for some time, so we need to expand our definition of “In-Person” to include things like FaceTime, Zoom, and other online platforms.
- Remember to actively practice kindness and patience with everyone in your home.
Connections with others:
- Talk about it…
- Acknowledge, name, and feel your feelings “These are hard times but you are Capable…you are Enough.”
- Don’t avoid, stuff-down, numb-out, or overthink your feelings.
- Name your feelings and share them with someone who will listen and love you through it: This can look like:
You: “I’m sad”, “I’m scared”, “I feel anxious”, “I feel frustrated”. Listener’s reply: “I hear you, that makes sense”.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is powerful. Practicing gratitude has positive effects on our emotional AND physical health.
Speak Gratitude
- Practice finding moments and situations to share your gratitude through a simple “thank you” or a more elaborate “I appreciate that you did that for me. It made me feel loved and I needed that today.”
Write Gratitude
- A gratitude journal is a way for all of us to focus our minds on things we’re are lucky to have in our lives.
- During this time of uncertainty, we can be certain about the things that we are thankful for…no matter how small or simple.
Think Gratitude
- Mindfulness moments can be a simple pause in your day or a more elaborate time of reflection.
- Setting time aside to sit quietly and holding in your mind a person, a place, or experience that you are grateful for can boost not only your mood, but your immune system as well.
- Remember to focus on the things we have, not on things we don’t have.
Feel Gratitude
- Through these practices you will begin to notice the feeling of gratitude rising at different times and you will enjoy pausing in those moments to feel it more fully.
Remember to See Past the Hardship
- Be thoughtful about how much time you spend consuming coverage from various media outlets.
- Balance the need to follow the situation in the world with vicariously traumatizing yourself throughout the day. The same is true with toxic people or groups. Knowing that the hard moments will come, and they will go is vitally important. Remember that, in the words of Rumi the Sufi poet, “This too shall pass”. Make plans for when restriction are relaxed.
- Who will you visit with?
- Where would you like to go?
- What will you do when you can be close to others?
Remember what Whitman wrote, “…That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”
Reach Out
- Somebody is out there waiting, hoping to hear from you. Recognize that connection to others is part of what makes us human. Don’t forget that in these interactions benefit everyone involved.
- When you do reach out, share honestly about how you’re feeling. This kind of openness doesn’t work with everyone, that’s okay…but make sure you have at least a couple of people with whom you can be totally open and real with.
Ask For and Offer Help
- The time for the rugged individualist is in the past. Asking for help demonstrates maturity and intelligence. Recognizing our supports and resources, and reaching out to use them shows that we know that we have a place in the world. We are all going to play the role of giver and receiver during this challenging time.
- For some people this term can encompass a religious tradition, for others it refers to that which we hold personally sacred. Whatever it means to you personally, I encourage you to remember to draw strength and comfort from a deliberate spiritual practice.
- This prayer or mantra keeps coming up for me:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
- Regardless of whether prayer or God are a part of your life at this time, finding meaning in our challenges and in our suffering helps us see a path forward and gives us a reason to move in that direction.
- It’s the mystery and meaning in Life that counts, not the words you use to describe it.
- Take stock of the things that are in your control, and those outside of or beyond your control. This will help you know where to put your energy and efforts…and where to practice accepting and dealing with what is.
- During a moment of meditation or prayer, visualize handing those items that are outside your control over, and letting them go. Then focus on what you can control, like your self-care, your words, your actions, and your plans.
